Looking Back

Christmas went too fast and the New Year is right aroung the corner.......
This past year has been a whirlwind. It all went so fast. They say to never look back and look forward, but I must reflect. There were resolutions at the first of the year and I find myself with the same "wish I could change" feelings at the end of the year. I did accomplish several of the resolutions that I had hoped for. I quit smoking, I've lost over 60 lbs and I have kept my house neat, orderly and organized.
I still have to work on several things and they get me every time. Maybe this is who I am, but I don't like it most of the time.....I am too outspoken. There are times when I say too much to the wrong people or I just feel like it is ok to pour out my heart/feelings....but it seems I always say the wrong things to the wrong people. It is all my fault. I use humor to cope sometimes. I say things and I try to amuse-but is always turns out wrong. There are times when I don't feel worthy of some friendships, I know they will hurt me at some time, so it doesn't matter. There are times when I am just trying to do the right thing, trying to help or trying to tell of something that is exciting to me.....I get all into it, then quickly realize either I've said too much, didn't know it was a sensitive subject or I just said it to say it ....not meaning to do anything. Sometimes the "other" person is too sensitive to a certain subject and how am I supposed to know that. I have asked God to help me so many times, so now I have a plan and I hope it works. I just can't get too close for comfort and I can't give it my all to anyone.
I just got a new job and will start in a few weeks. It is an executive position with a healthcare company. It will be great and it is something I have been wanting for so long. I have a new beau and he is so awesome. My family is great, my bills are paid and I have some adorable cats. I am going to a great new church. I don't need anything else.
Looking back there were some bumps, but I've passed them up. There will be bumps ahead but I will just run over them. I am looking forward to the New Year with a brighter hope and next year I won't be looking back.
Happy New Year to ALL.